Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Clean Slate

I guess its pretty noticeable that I haven't wrote or posted in a long, long while. It's hard to pin it down to a specific reason, I suppose its down to a myriad of reasons instead. I was so caught up with other aspects of my life these past half of a year, so I guess neglected my writing. But I suppose you could also say writing tire and wore me out, especially whenever I feel like I had to censor or hold back how I truly feel, happy or sad otherwise, for the benefit of those reading. That's why and how I begun to resent writing, because I felt like I was always walking on eggshells, so eventually my interest just petered out and died and I just stopped writing.

I don't know when the realisation hit me, but all I know was that it did, was that writing was not the problem or issue. I was the problem, or rather my incessant need to ensure that everyone would be satisfied and not be offended by what I wrote was. It just got to a point where I felt like I didn't care any more, I just wanted write. I want to write about these past few months that have been rocky and eventful, I want to document what I'm going through so I could be more objective and rational about it, rather than be caught up in the moment, I want writing to be my therapy, I want to be able to tell myself while I'm writing, I may have not yet learnt the lesson yet, but at least I'm learning, and one day I will finally get it. I need that reassurance from writing because lately I feel like a kite that has been cut off its string and that I have lost my way, God knows going in which direction.

So, I've decided. I want to write again. But, also I want a brand new clean slate. Which is why I decided to erase all my older stuff and I'll be writing from now on a new blog. So, here it is, a brand new start and beginning..........